Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
