Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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