I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
