So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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