You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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