cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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