Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
