I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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