i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
