We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
