Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Randomize
