? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
