My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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