Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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