:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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