So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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