Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
