I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize