Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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