I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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