Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
