Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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