Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Randomize
