and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
