He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
