did you get engaged???
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
