So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
