I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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