i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
