She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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