there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
