based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I think your dad took our porno
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
