my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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