I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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