Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
