if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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