Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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