you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize