i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
