Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
