Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
