idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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