He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
