MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Just high enough for therapy.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
