so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
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