if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
