Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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