found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
