girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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