Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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