shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
