Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
