After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
