new low.... made out with someone while peeing
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
