I can tuck mytits in my pants
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
