I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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