Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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