y did u give ur computer a hand job?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
