Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
smell my finger.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
