Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
